the world didn't end.

an increase in wisdom

Sun, 07 May 2006 21:05:38 GMT

last night i learned two things:

never mix your toothpastes, no matter how appealing it may sound, or if you just finished off one tube but don't have enough to do the job right. you will regret this decision.

and

even if you're really tall and it makes sense to sleep diagonally in bed, refrain from doing so. in the middle of the night when you are rolling over, you'll ram your face into the headboard. trust me.

oh dear

Fri, 21 Apr 2006 06:40:01 GMT

i am double/triple/quadruple-dipping my nacho heart into the guacamole of religion.

i never even used to like guacamole.

denied.

Mon, 03 Apr 2006 04:49:22 GMT

denied denied denied denied.

denied.

DENIED.

this ruined my entire plan.

denieddenieddenieddenieddenied.

3-peat donor!

Fri, 31 Mar 2006 02:18:23 GMT

today at the blood clinic, i donated for the first time.

they gave me two stickers and a pin. and ryker and i stole a lot of cookies.

and the lady who put my nametag on touched me. innapropriately. put my nametag on for me. uhoh.
but she was really nice and very old and she said "you know what, you are a very pretty woman" to another lady and she made me happy.

so i think i'll let the boob touching slide for this time.

DONATE MAY 25/26!!!!

Sun, 26 Mar 2006 01:31:14 GMT

I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me like I'm nuts. I love that after I spend the day with you, I can still smell your perfume on my clothes. And I love that you are the last person I want to talk to before I go to sleep at night. And it's not because I'm lonely, and it's not because it's New Year's Eve. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

Where is my Harry Burns?

incompetence at its best

Sun, 12 Mar 2006 01:58:14 GMT

our demo lady in the deli set something on fire today. then she took it outside for some reason. she slowly poured water on it, and left it to smoulder next to the trash can by the entrance doors.

a high-class employee.

i thought this fight was over

Thu, 16 Feb 2006 01:08:33 GMT

dear university of california, (specifically in san diego)

i'm sure that both you and i thought that our war was over, back in the day after november 30th. sadly, you were the one who had to do a sneak attack on me and ruin my life once again. this sneak attack might not have been on purpose however, becuase i think it is due to the fact that either a) none of you can read, b) you have an inability to recieve mail of any sort, or c) you're all dumbasses who can't solve a silly problem and need official scores, whereas other uc campuses do not.

you see, you were the one campus to tell me that you had not recieved my sat II scores, the scores that i am most proud of. all other universities that i had sent them to had no problem recieving them, including a part of your university, uc santa barbara. to resolve this fact, i called the college board and the educational testing service, and asked that my scores be sent again. for the first time in forever, they cooperated and sent something free of charge. i then recieved an receipt confirming their processing and the fact that they had been sent.

SO NOW YOU MADE A MISTAKE.

you insist that you have not recieved these scores. how is that possible? i sent them twice? are you so south in california that the mail system cannot reach you? are your admissions officers too busy suntanning and surfing to open some important letters? do they have cataracts from exposure to the sun that inhibit them from reading a name and a few three-digit numbers?

the main thing is, san diego, that you cannot talk to santa barbara. why can't you just call them up and have a conversation similar to this:

"hey sb! what's up?"
"oh nm sd, just processing some sat scores that i can read because i'm smart"
"oh really? we're not smart. but btw, do you have any official sat II scores for this girl named julie van der hoop?"
"oh yea, we do. did you not recieve them?"
"oh i think we did somewhere, but they're most likely serving as coasters or a scrap piece of paper that the dean of admissions wrote his grocery list on."
"oh well then here, we'll give you her official scores:..."
"thanks sb, you're the best"
"anytime sd, and btw, our campus is way prettier than yours."

so there. that is my suggestion to you. and if not, i will send you another sat II report and tell you where to stick it.

looooooooove julie

what a cruel world.

Thu, 26 Jan 2006 03:20:19 GMT

dear gods of running

i was told by the coach that i need to "get in better shape" which in honest terms means "lose weight." automatically, i turned to running. running gods, you should be proud of me.

BUT NO APPARENTLY YOU'RE NOT.

perhaps you thought that i was taking advantage of your sport by going out on a limb and going for a three-mile run today in order to reap some benefits. did you plan to get your revenge by giving me the biggest blister in the history of blisters in the most awkward place ever: THE ARCH OF MY FOOT?
well, if that was your plan, then you succeeded. and due to the terribly dependant mechanics of the human body, i could not run properly for the last mile, thus creating a terrible pain in my knee.

thank you, gods of running, as now i'll have to explain to my coach that i can't walk becuase i tried to make the world a better one, or atleast make my shape a fitter one.

love always,
julie.

lovebaldomgzwhat

Wed, 28 Dec 2005 07:29:21 GMT

for those of you who don't know...

my mom made me take before shots.

oh durr. i cried so much.

the aftermath.

today is my two week anniversary. please keep growing.

lovelovelove.

so long, farewell.

Tue, 20 Dec 2005 07:17:45 GMT

auf wiedersen, wisdom teeth.

mmmmmmmmmm

Thu, 01 Dec 2005 02:20:46 GMT

steve from collegeboard made my life all better this morning.

i skipped my first three blocks to write essays and do math homework.

my essays are now complete.

i went to the dentist and have no cavities.

my application has been sent.

i feel so relieved.

now to finish that dumb physics lab on gravity, and go to mario's in tsawwassen to feast.

mmmmmmmmmmm.

mmmmmm elephant stew

Mon, 28 Nov 2005 07:01:57 GMT

not only did work suck hxcstyle today cause of jenna calling in sick for the billionth time in a row (she probably just wanted to watch the grey cup, bitch) but i had to scrape my windshield in a blouse and apron at 9:15 pm. why is it so cold now?

dear university of california: i'm glad we had the opportunity to settle our differences and to repair our relationship. you are lovely. i'm hoping that your thanksgiving went well, and honestly, the thing i said about santa barbara wasn't true.

THE STORY ISN'T THE SAME FOR YOU, COLLEGEBOARD.
GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER AND SEND ME THOSE SCORES. (haha act together. like ACT. aaaahhahaha the irony.)

don't worry if you dont understand the irony. only american test-takers will.

blargh.

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Thu, 24 Nov 2005 01:39:37 GMT

DEAR COLLEGEBOARD.COM,

I SENT YOU AN EMAIL WONDERING WHERE MY FUCKING SAT MARKS ARE. I TOOK THE TEST ON OCTOBER 8TH. I THEN TOOK MY SUBJECT TESTS ON NOVEMBER WHATEVER, AND I GOT MY MARKS FROM THOSE. BUT WAIT - DID I GET MY OCTOBER 8TH MARKS? NO, THE HELL I DIDN'T. SO WHERE ARE THEY? I DONT KNOW BUT I NEED THEM NOW.
I HAVE A UNIVERSITY APPLICATION DUE IN 7 DAYS AND THEY WILL DENY MY APPLICATION IF I DO NOT HAVE THOSE TEST MARKS ON IT. THIS MEANS THAT EITHER YOU GIVE THEM TO ME, OR I KILL YOU.

SO I SENT YOU THIS EMAIL.
AND YOUR REPLY WAS?

"DID YOU FORGET YOUR PASSWORD? IF SO, FOLLOW THIS LINK TO THIS PAGE AND WE'LL GET YOU A NEW ONE!"

I DID NOT ASK ABOUT A PASSWORD. I DIDN'T ASK ANYTHING HAVING TO DO WITH A PASSWORD. I DIDN'T HAVE TO ENTER MY PASSWORD TO SEND YOU THAT EMAIL. I DONT CARE ABOUT PASSWORDS. ALL I CARE ABOUT ARE MY STUPID SAT MARKS THAT AREN'T EVEN VERY GOOD. PLEASE SEND THEM TO ME OR AGAIN, I WILL KILL YOU. THIS IS A THREAT. DON'T GET ME WRONG.

PLEASE
SEND
ME
SCORES
OR
ELSE

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE JULIE.

DEAR UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA

I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR SASS. RIGHT NOW I AM LISTENING TO CALMING MUSIC AND IT IS NOT WORKING.

YOUR ONLINE APPLICATION STINKS. IT WILL NOT LET ME ENTER MY MARKS FOR ANY TERM BUT TERM ONE. IF ANYTHING, TERM ONE IS INSIGNIFICANT AND IT'S TERMS 2-4 THAT REALLY MATTER. I HAVE TRIED TO CONTACT YOU ABOUT THIS, BUT YOU ARE ALL ABOUT THIS TECHNOLOGICAL BULLSHIT AND ONLY HAVE EMAIL CONTACTS. I HAVE CALLED YOUR OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT. I HAVE CALLED YOUR PUBLICATION COMPANY. I HAVE CALLED DIFFERENT CAMPUSES.

WHAT HAPPENED? IT'S FUCKING THANKSGIVING. JEEZE, GET YOUR HOLIDAYS RIGHT - THANKSGIVING IS IN OCTOBER IN THE REAL WORLD. THAT MEANS THAT I CAN'T GET INFORMATION FROM YOU RIGHT NOW, AND I CAN'T GET IT FROM YOU TOMORROW.
I NEED THIS INFORMATION ASAP SO THAT IF NEED BE, I CAN GET MY STUPID PAPER APPLICATION IN BEFORE THE DEADLINE.

IF I DO NOT GET IN BECAUSE OF THIS, I WILL BE VERY ANGRY AND WRITE YOU MANY MORE LETTERS LIKE THIS. THIS WILL NOT BE THE LAST TIME YOU HEAR OF ME. YOU'RE ALMOST AS BAD AS COLLEGEBOARD.COM.

NOT ONLY WILL YOU NOT LET ME ENTER MY GRADES, BUT YOU REQUIRE MY GRADES FROM GRADE 8-12. WHY GRADE 8? GRADE 8 IS NOT NECCESARY. AND YOU ARE DUMB BECAUSE YOUR SYSTEM DOESN'T ALLOW ME TO ENTER THE WAY THAT I AM MARKED (SYSTEM A-F FOR THE FIRST 2 YEARS, AND THEN 0-100 FOR THE LAST 3)

I HATE YOU. MAYBE I SHOULDN'T APPLY TO YOU BECAUSE YOU STINK SO MUCH.

HOPEFULLY I HEAR FROM YOU SOON. OR ELSE, YOU WILL DIE, JUST LIKE COLLEGEBOARD.COM WILL

LOOOOOOOOOVE JULIE.

PS - I JUST WANT TO GO TO SANTA BARBARA BECAUSE IT'S ON A BIG CLIFF. SO THERE.

i fail at life.

Mon, 21 Nov 2005 23:44:15 GMT

i will not get into university.

dear collegeboard: please send me my scores from october 8th. it has been way too long. i need these for my california application which is due in 9 days. i am getting very impatient.

dear math 12: you have killed my principal's honour roll.

dear math 12: you are bringing down my average.

dear trig: i hate you.

dear university of california: why do you hate canadians so much?

dear physics: i'm sorry i skipped you to study math. it obviously didn't pay off.

dear mr marr: i totally should have gotten 8/8 for that trig proof. i just did cosx/cosx in two different steps.

dear symphonie pastorale: why do i have to have a test on you?

dear brown university: please accept me, even though i obviously suck at school and life. maybe i can get in on the photograph part of my application.
i looked hot today.

DEAR HARRY POTTER: YOU WERE SO GOOD. "He's not a piece of meat you know!" - professor mcgonnagal "YES HE IS" - the 6 of us in the theatre.

dear john cusack: marry me please.

thanks mom

Sat, 22 Oct 2005 17:25:04 GMT

last night my family had a good time making fun of me:

"girls aren't supposed to be that tall" - my mom

"when you were little, you were like a cube. we could pick you up and lie you on your side and you wouldn't move. you were a little blob of baby." - my uncle

"you were a heap of girl. 35 pounds when you were one year old. Maybe that's why you couldn't walk at one year..." - my mom

thanks family: i always appreciate compliments.

so i check the weather wherever you are

Sun, 14 Aug 2005 06:38:11 GMT

whoa.

okay.

so i met brendan morrison at the aquarium a while ago and taught him all about anenomes and sea stars and his kids loved to touch them.

BUT TODAY WAS EVEN BETTER THAN THAT.

think back to when you were in kindergarten and you heard over the PA system that your class was now supposed to make its way down to the gym. and you sat on that hard floor and you waited and waited and watched those grade sevens walk in finally and sit on their benches (you were so ready for the day to come when you would be able to sit on those benches) and then the principal walked up and you watched her put up her hand. and then you put up your hand and you were quiet.

and then she introduced the woman who would be entertaining you for a while. and she took the stage with her neat outfit and guitar and her little stuffed accesory - a hug bug.

THAT"S RIGHT.
CHARLOTTE DIAMOND. MY BEAR GRUFF, PETIT POISSON, I AM A PIZZA.

I SOLD HER MEAT TODAY. 265 GRAMS OF BLACK FOREST HAM.
THERE WAS SO MUCH SMILING.

I LOVE THIS WOMAN.

guilty pleasure okay?

Thu, 19 May 2005 03:43:00 GMT

say what naima? congrats. you're hot. i like you. i was rooting from you from the start (keenyah too, then i realized that she was fat and bitchy.)

ps - the girl in the background is a different girl. take a look at the eyes and the eyebrows and yea - she's different.

kahlen runner up fendi model what? you're hot too. naima would be a better spokes person. you're still super cute and got tons of advertising cause everyone knows how good your portfolio is.

you're a hot springbok.

ummm and yea - they're wrinkled cause they've been folded in my purse for a while. i had to rip them out of a magazine in the breakroom at work from april.

i'm a rebel. i know guys. i know.

you can shine like silver all you want, but you're just aluminium.

Sun, 15 May 2005 22:13:01 GMT

Take the Magic School Bus Quiz

that is so true. i love the magic school bus.
i know half of what i know today due to that show.
i was a dedicated fan.

how i miss it.

i was hoping for dorothy ann, cause she's a braniac too.
and keisha did say "oh bad. oh BAD BAD BAD" a hell of a lot.

atleast i wasn't arnold. i'm WAY cooler than arnold.

Thu, 05 May 2005 19:42:13 GMT

http://www.newifstone.com/BushCheerleader1.JPG

George had been a baseball star wearing the Andover "A." Bush also played baseball, but mostly made his mark as a cheerleader for the teams. Then, like his father and grandfather, he went on to Yale.

i love writing animated emails to my teachers.

Thu, 28 Apr 2005 02:33:50 GMT

OH NO MR. WODTKE!

A TERRIBLE THING HAS HAPPENED!
YOU HAVE CONFUSED A BIOLOGY STUDENT - AND THAT BIOLOGY STUDENT IS ME!!!!!!

okay so i'm studying right? and i looked at a diagram and it said that the female organ on an angiosperm was called the CARPEL but i was like "whoa. no way, that is SO called the pistil." so i go to my binder full of detailed notes and see that i've written down on a sheet that it was a carpel, that information coming from your power point presentation. BUT THEN i looked at a sheet you handed out to us: the blue sheet. THE DREADED blue sheet! AND THE RESULT?
CONTRARY TO POPULAR BELIEF: THE COURT RULED THAT IT WAS INDEED CALLED THE PISTIL!

SO WHAT DO I DO!? I EMAIL YOU IN HOPES THAT YOU WILL INDEED CHECK YOUR EMAIL TONIGHT AND GET BACK TO ME!
if i don't get a response and i forget to ask you tomororw, i guess i'll just refer to it as both, to thouroughly confuse you.

then it goes on.

oh i love mr. wodtke.

UBC future trekkers, what?
e-star and i had a wild time - i love christopher payne. he is the new atila, sadly.
as for parking, well, that was its own adventure.

it was a day of ups and downs.

Sat, 16 Apr 2005 06:04:13 GMT

ever since this morning when i dropped my toothbrush when it had toothpaste on it and it landed toothpaste side up, i thought it was going to be a good day.

i was half right.

Mon, 28 Mar 2005 05:55:32 GMT

www.hoorayforhumans.piczo.com

holla ballaz

today i tried REALLY hard to button up my shirt properly. i even made sure that i was holding the right buttons in my hand so that it would be right.
but i still couldn't do it.

aaahahahahahahahahaha

and if you want to shine, you'll have to learn how to fuse your hydrogens.

Fri, 18 Mar 2005 06:13:02 GMT

even though today was full of wham! and crocodile rock...

...i knew a night like this was soon to come.

dear cheer: please come back and occupy my tuesday and thursday night so they don't all end up like this. i don't want to get back into my old cycle.
love, julie.

what did you do at 10:00 tonight?

Tue, 08 Mar 2005 06:28:25 GMT

well i know what i did.
I WASHED MY FLIPPIN CAR.

DEAR WHO PROBABLY IS A GRADE 8 - 10 BOY,

PLEASE NEVER EGG MY CAR AGAIN. IF YOU DO, I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND SEVERELY KICK YOUR LITTLE GRADE 8-10 ASS. THIS IS A THREAT. DON'T YOU THINK THAT IT'S NOT. I AM NOT IMPRESSED WITH YOU LITTLE BOY, NOT ONE BIT. IF I WAS YOUR MOTHER, I'D GIVE YOU THE SPANKING OF A LIFETIME AND SEND YOU TO THE CORNER TO THINK ABOUT YOUR TERRIBLE ACTIONS. THIS IS DISCRIMINATION.

YOU PROBABLY EGGED MY CAR BECAUSE YOU WERE JEALOUS AND FILLED WITH TEEN-ANGST ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU ARE TOO YOUNG AND TOO IMMATURE TO GET YOUR LISCENCE. YOU ALSO PROBABLY EGGED IT CAUSE I HAVE A GRANDPA CAR (BUT IT IS A GRANDPA CAR WITH A SUNROOF, FOR YOUR INFORMATION) AND YOU PROBABLY HATE GRANDPAS AND WANT TO STEAL THEIR CANES AND WALKERS FROM THEM AND THEN BEAT THEM WITH IT. YOU ARE MENACES TO SOCIETY. KARMA WILL GET YOU ONE DAY. YOU WILL GET RUN OVER BY A CAR THAT LOOKS LIKE MINE, AND MAYBE THAT SAME DAY, YOU'LL HAVE EGGS THROWN AT YOU. OR MAYBE WHEN YOU'RE A GRANDPA, YOU'LL GET EGGED AND GET YOUR CANE/WALKER STOLEN FROM YOU.

TAKE THAT.
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE THAT HUH? HUH? I THOUGHT SO.
YOU'RE GOING TO BE SENT TO A NURSING HOME BY YOUR CHILDREN WHO HATE YOU, AND YOU'RE GOING TO BE THE CRABBY GRANDPA WHO LIVES THERE AND HATES TO PLAY BINGO BECAUSE OF THE NICE PRETTY CALL GIRL (like saschie) BECAUSE YOU NEVER GOT LAID BY A NICE PRETTY GIRL. YOU WON'T GET LAID BY A NICE PRETTY GIRL BECAUSE YOU THREW EGGS AT MY CAR.
YOU'LL BE THE GRANDPA WHO'S KIDS WON'T VISIT YOU CAUSE YOU DIDN'T TREAT THEM WELL, AND BECAUSE YOU PROBABLY EGGED THEIR CARS TOO. YOUR WIFE WILL DIE EARLY, CAUSE SHE'LL HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF PEOPLE HATING YOU FOR HAVING EGGED THEIR CARS WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG AND NAIVE. WELL I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE YOUNG AND NAIVE. YOU STILL STINK.
YOU STINK LIKE A ROTTEN EGG. (pun majorly intended)

YOU ARE A SICK, SICK BOY. IT IS QUITE THE POSSIBILITY THAT IT WAS MORE THAN ONE OF YOU, SO IN THAT CASE: YOU ARE SICK, SICK BOYS.

AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN HAVE GOOD SHOTS EITHER.
JEEZE, LEARN TO THROW IF YOU'RE GOING TO EGG SOMEONE'S CAR.

ASSHOLES.

i think this is why i love chemistry so much...

Sat, 05 Mar 2005 20:29:08 GMT

Chem 11 Excess-Limiting Reagent Questions.

1) The Starship Enterprise on Star Trek really uses B5H9 and O2 as fuel. The two react according to the following balanced equation:

2B5H9 + 12O2 --> B5H9 + 9H2O

a) If one fuel tank holds 126 kg of B5H9, and the other fuel tank holds 192 Kg of Oxygen, which tank will be emptied first?
b) When one fuel tank is emptied, how much fuel is left in the other tank?
c) When the reaction has gone as far as possible, how much water is produced?

and mr. kwan actually reads star trek books during engaged reading. oh mr. kwan.

what's happened since the last time?
i had a birthday.
i've been invited to three funerals to people close to me.
i watched moulin rouge again.
i went to FLIPPIN' HAWAII and got first place and second place. yea. that's right.
i got my sat results.
i went on a science field trip.
i looked at schools that i want to go to.
i watched the best inflight movie i've ever seen.
i became copy editor. dang.
i bought new clothessss and got presentsssss
i've become prone to continuing certain vowels and consonants in words.
i've brought my marks up!
i wrote le son de medecin, with the help of the one and only esther chan.
i bought a coconut monkey bank, and a girls of hawaii calendar.
I GOT A TAN.
i spend my saturdays doing homework in my pjs until 2:00.
i'm the biggests nerd evor. i swear.

my life rocks, guys.
honestly.
yours stinks compares to mine.

and i might get to see my sister soon, that is if she does well in rugby.
SHE BETTER DO WELL. (yes heathie, that's a threat)

<3